Fell in love

So I guess Match.com really works.

I have been using that site for a year looking for that someone special.

He was worth the wait.

Got Divorced

Its official! I am now a divorced woman! Yay!!!!! I have to say that its a huge relief to get my old last name back and to really be able to move on with my life.

As hard as this day was, I was really proud of the way I handled this day. I was going to walk in there with my head held high and do what I needed to do. I was determined to not cry or show my ex an sign of weakness. While I was sitting there in the court room waiting for them to call our names, I realized the date. We were just 3 weeks shy of our 3 year wedding anniversary. It made me feel alittle sad thinking of that. But then I realized that for the last year, I have done more and experienced more then I ever did when I was with him. This was the best thing that could have happened to me.

In less then 15 minutes, my 2 year marriage and 8 year relationship with my ex was over. It was a little too easy if you ask me. But I walked out of that court feeling like a new person.

I said goodbye to my ex and got in my car to drive away. It was finally done and I couldn't be happier.

Was set free

On this day, my husband and best friend for 8 years, told me he didn't want to be with me anymore. The reason? He was bored and wanted to be with more than one woman and experience more in his life.

Basically he wanted the Tucker Max life.

Nice.

This is kind of how I felt in pictures:

I always thought that we could get through everything. We had some many obstacles that we overcome. Yes, we fought from time to time but we always made up and always were a team. When we got married our team was weak. It became very one sided. I was doing all the hard work to keep the team a team and he doing what he could to make himself stronger. I did dishes, laundry and made hot dinners. He played hockey, went to the gym and took scuba lessons. I was told money was tight so I didn't do things that I wanted. I was all about him. What a dumbass I was!

This is when he told me to basically pack up my life and leave. That's right, I got kicked out. This was the worst day of my life.


So I left my nest that I have known for eight years and headed out to the real world. Thank god for my family or I would have never got by. During the first few months, I cried myself to sleep at night. Painful sobs at least once a day. The kind that hurts your chest.

This was how I was most of the time at work and at home. I was in a serious funk. I looked like crap. I had no friends, I didn't wear makeup, and I just stopped caring. If I was faced with death I would probably have accepted it.

But then I realized something. Johnny was thriving. He was going on in his life. Why can't I? So I either need to spread my wings and fly or fall to the ground and die. I needed to make a decision. So what did I decide to do?That's right, I spread those wings open and begin to live. I was taking back my life. I was going to make it!

Then I got really pissed at what he did and decided that I needed to have what I deserved. I reconnected with some old friends, joined a gym and created a bucket list of everything I ever wanted to do. I wasn't going to let him destroy me. I am a fighter and I am going to live life to the fullest.

Things that helped me through this tough time

My Family

They did everything they could to make me happy and comfortable. Even though they don't have much, they gave me everything I needed. I thought it would be hard to go back home but after 5 minutes I felt like I never left.

Becca

She spent countless hours hanging out with me during this time. She has been my friend for 18 years. She would be the first person who would help me egg his house.

My Close group of Friends

After reconnecting with them after 8 years, they make me feel like I have never left. The are the reason why I am stronger. I used to wear my wedding band everyday until I went to my first party with these guys. It never went back on. They have pushed me to do things I never did and have made me experience life again.

My Co-workers

Even though they didn't find out about the separation for 6 months, once they found out I have received nothing but supportive. They are all on Team Laurie

Grace Chapel

I met some GREAT people there who listened to me vent and got me out of the house

McDonald's

Comfort food knew just how to make me feel better

Red Sox

For keeping my mind busy

My Credit Card

Two words: Retail Therapy

Got engaged!

After dating Johnny for 4 years, he finally popped the question!

It was a complete surprise. When he got down on one knee, I started crying. I couldn’t say ‘Yes’ fast enough! I called our parents and told them the good news (most of them already knew). I was so happy and couldn’t get rid of the big smile on my face.

Afterward, the two of us went out to a romantic dinner. I couldn’t stop staring at my ring. It was beautiful and just what I wanted! I couldn’t wait to show it off.

Now the fun part begins! Wedding planning! Yay!

Met Johnny

If you were from the ages of 14-21 between the years 1998-2000, chances are you met or had some kind of “relationship” with someone from an online chat room. I was one of these people and I am not proud of it. I resorted to online chat rooms to find the man of my dreams after my boyfriend broke up with me. It was my goal to make my ex jealous and to fix the broken heart that he gave me.

You heard the horror stories and seen news specials of people meeting from online. But you also have heard of how people met their soulmate or made a great lifelong friend from online chat-rooms. For me, chat-rooms allowed me to be myself or someone else completely instead of the awkward geeky girl I was around guys. I could talk to guys without them judging me on my looks but on my personality instead. Lies and perverts were throughout the internet. At 16-17 years old, I felt I was too smart and could tell the difference between a nice guy and a pervert.

I met several guys through online chat rooms in real life. Nothing to boast about, believe me. I am still ashamed and scared at what could have happened. My Junior Prom date was a guy I met through a chat room who I never heard from again after that day. I met a guy who I feel head over heals from and hung out with for 6 months before he told me he saw me as a sister.

Throughout all the losers I met online, I finally met someone who I connected with. His name was Johnny and he lived only a town away from me. We talked online through a chat-room. I really loved his screen name and began to private message him. Pictures were exchanged and then phone calls. We agreed to meet at the local mall. Of course I was nervous (not to mention really really late) when I walked up and down the mall looking for my date. Finally I spotted him.

Although, I found out that he was not hard to miss.

Johnny's hair was dyed bleach blond and he wore a bright blue Hawaiian shirt. Yikes! I felt regret right away and wanted to bail. But instead the stupid 17 year old naïve girl I was got into his car to go out to dinner. Luckily he was a nice guy and we had a good time. Although it was not a love at first time feeling that I always wanted. After dinner we said goodbye and agreed to meet again. It took several dates to fall for Johnny. It took even longer for us to have our first kiss.

Years later he told me how he almost left because I was so late. Oh how my life would have been so different now.

My First Broken Heart

Chris and I were considered a power couple in Jr. High School. Meaning we were together more then 1 year, almost 2. We were one of two couples that had made that 1 year mark. I was pretty proud of myself considering our relationship was VERY rocky and unhealthy at times.

I won’t and don’t want to go through the details of our two years together, there are some stories that I wish to bury in my brain forever. Needless to say we were getting older and our relationship was just not fun anymore.

The end came when I heard a rumor that this other boy liked me. My stomach did back flips knowing another boy liked me and that maybe there was more out there. Deep down I really liked this other boy and wanted to go out with him.

During a fight on the phone, I let it slip that I heard someone else liked me and that I liked them too. I then let it out that I wanted out of our relationship. I was not brave when I said this, I was crying the whole time. He slammed the phone down on me and that was the end of that.

The next few days I regretted us breaking up and called Chris a few times to go back out with me. I wore my scrubbiest sweat shirts, dingiest jeans, no makeup and red stained eyes to school for that week to show how miserable I was. That ended when I heard a rumor that he told people HE broke up with me! The pathetic appearance was gone soon after that and I moved on.

Peer pressure, teenage gossip and the roller coaster of teenage love was the result of our breakup. Sadly, Chris and I never remained friends after the breakup. Too many bitter words were spoken during that time. Mostly these words were said because of our broken hearts.

A funny thing about our breakup, I never did go out with that boy who liked me. It just seemed to open my eyes to other opportunities that were out there. I never even tried to date that other boy because I was enjoying the single life. I was soon busy hanging out with new friends, playing sports in school and finding a part time job.

My first boyfriend

Nothing is more memorable then your first relationship. The nervous giggles, the exchanging of notes, butterflies fluttering in the stomach and the pure innocent feeling of being in love. At 12 years old, I had all the symptoms of being in love.

His name was Chris and I had only a few classes with him. Being boy crazy, I had my focus on this other boy who was in my classes also named Chris who I nicknamed Rob (long story). My diary was cramped with hearts and fairytale adventures of Rob and me. Once I even got him to look at me! Boy did my heart skip a few beats! I had no idea that while I was ogling one boy another boy was ogling me.

In December, my friend told me about Chris and that he liked me. I can honestly say that before her saying that to me I never even knew this boy existed. Needless to say I was shocked. Someone actually wanted to be my boyfriend? I believe I gave a maybe and wanted to think about it. Something I always do when I am nervous. This was life changing for a 12 year old!

Finally I agreed and our first date was on this day. We spent the date going to the movie theater in town with a few other people we knew which was a perfect little date for 12 year olds. I was so nervous and can’t even remember what we saw.

Soon we became a couple and I was desperately in love with him. I remember telling my Mom point blank that Chris and I were going to be together forever. There was no such thing as us breaking up. I still can’t get over how serious and hurt I was when my Mom said that we may not be together forever.

With Chris I held hands with a boy for the first time, got my first gift from a boy on Christmas (earrings and a stuffed dragon) and experienced my first kiss. We went to dances together, held hands around school and wrote ooey gooey notes to each other. I kept a box filled with letters, trinkets and movie stubs. Nothing beats the first time you fall in love.